Salvete, omnes!
Well, after having received an encouraging shot in the arm from our faithful Aldus Marius and after having found historical reference to two, count 'em, TWO ancient Roman ladies named Melania, I have decided to revert to my original choice of cognomen.
But if you don't know what to call me, "Hey, you" will work just fine.
Sorry for the confusion, thanks for putting up with me!
Valete!