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America vs. Rome, a hilarious comparison

PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 5:43 pm
by Gaius Iulius Tabernarius
Ave Romani, its been a while

I was looking through some maps of American geo political influence around the world and I came across this article by accident.

Wars of the 21st Century-Predictions

Its absolutely hilarious, and for the history junkies among us its pretty impressive as comparisons go, it effectively lampoons the tired American Rome comparison and correctly attacks the concept of a roman comparison being an insult.

Here are a selection of my favorite quotes from the article.

Why if Thomas Jefferson could hear us calling America the New Rome, he would dance a happy dance and hug every columnist who made the comparison.

(Octavianus rules as Augustus, First Citizen of Rome, retaining a facade of republican institutions and tolerating public debate, but consolidating real power into his own hands.)=(President Kennedy Clinton Roosevelt makes President-for-life an actual part of the US Constitution.)

Jesus of Nazareth preaches, gets executed.=(Lorenzo the Redeemer, a Brazilian New Age Shaman, teaches about an upcoming era of Joy and Judgement)

Constantine makes Christianity the official religion of the Empire.=(New Age Lorenzan Redemptionist replaces Christianity as the official religion of the USA. The calendar is reformed so that the week is shorter, Spring is longer, animals are considered to be morally superior to humans, forests and nature are considered sacred, what you do in your own home is nobody's business but you and God, but there's a special circle of Hell reserved for telemarketers. Also, this God doesn't need any money, thanks anyway; she'd like you to give it directly to the needy instead.)

Attila the Hun comes crashing down on the Empire=(Li Kuan of Rigel 7 attacks)

The Western Roman Empire expired peacefully in its sleep today, with a pillow held over its face by Odoacer the Herul. It is survived by a brother, Byzantine, and a posthumous illegitimate son, Holy Roman.=(The end of the world as we know it.)

Re: America vs. Rome, a hilarious comparison

PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:36 pm
by Valerius Claudius Iohanes
Ave, Gaii Iulii - It has been a while. Nice to hear from you.

Bene vale.

Re: America vs. Rome, a hilarious comparison

PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 12:48 pm
by Gnaeus Dionysius Draco

Haven't clicked the link, but it seems to be quite crackpot-like. Or is it a parody?

Anyway, I would liken the United States more to ancient Athens than I would compare it to Ancient Rome. But any such comparison will eventually be a form of Hineininterpretierung and serves little use other than to amuse ourselves (which I guess is fine, by the way).