Salvete,
These are from
www.romanmysteries.com
Q: How many Vestal Virgins does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: Six. Two to supervise, two to light, two to watch and learn.
Q: How many Pompeians does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: None, the results could be explosive!
Q: How many philosophers does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: Hmmm... now that's an interesting question, isn't it ?
Q: How many gladiators does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: None. Gladiators aren't afraid of the dark.
Q: How many Stoics does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: None. 'I'll just sit in the dark.'
Q: How many pessimists does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: None, it's a waste of time because the new one will burn down soon enough anyway.
Q: How many optimists does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: None, the sun will be rising soon and it will be a bright new day!!
Q: How many late republican senators does it take to light an oil lamp?
A: Twenty-three, but they all have to strike together.
Q: How many duoviri does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: Two of course.
Q: How many road-building Roman Legionaries does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: Five, one to light the lamp and four to lean on their shovels and watch the first one.
Q: How many scholars does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: None. That's what scribes are for.
Q: How many actors does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the lamp-light.
Q: How many poets does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: A myriad of lyre-plucking singers stretching from the shining shores of Troy to Romulus's fair city.
Q: How many drummers does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: One. Two. A one-two-three-four!
Q: Do you know how many lyre-players it takes to light an oil-lamp?
A: No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
Q: How many Ostian magistrates does it take to light an oil-lamp?
A: Fifty, one to light the lamp and 49 to carry out a fact finding mission to Rome to see how they light oil-lamps there.